Bike Lanes -What are they good for - Absolutely nothing - huh - Say it again...

An audio Chapter of The Dividing Line

ROB's RANT

The LINE has been Drawn, or better yet, Painted :)


The Bike Lane...the imaginary line that the liberals have built to divide the ordinary man from the people.  And before all of you start going nuts about me saying liberal, we are all liberals in our own right.  It's defined as: favorable to progress or reform, as in political or religious affairs.  And I want to add, life.  And who isn't that?  I am liberal, the Pope is liberal, Jesus was liberal...But it has to stop somewhere - the LINE has to be drawn.  When did the street, THE STREET, become a place that is now too small for me to drive my car?  When did it become proper for meter-maids to give me a $115 ticket because my right front tire was barely touching the outside of the bike lane because there was not enough room for me to park properly without my left tire going on the sidewalk?  What happened to just riding your bike, whether it be on the sidewalk or the street, like we all did as kids in whatever state you grew up in or whatever area you resided?  Now, I am not saying that it was the right way, but it was definitely better than this debacle. And what happened to bike-riders being afraid of cars?  They can crush bikes, right?  They are bigger..?   

Somehow, with all the crazy, but good gentrification of Brooklyn, there has invaded this element of the rite-to-biker.  That's correct, that's what I am going to call them, not the rite-to-lifers, the rite-to-bikers.  And they are worse - MUCH WORSE.  This insane cult has taken over all the neighborhoods of Brooklyn.  And I know they have invaded your neighborhoods, as well, but I live here, and can only comment on my constant annoyance.  I know they suck everywhere else, too.  I drive in Manhattan, Queens, the Bronx, and SI, but if I wrote about that, you'd be here forever.


And listen, I am not saying don't bike, don't get exercise, don't ride your 2-year-old chid on your baseboard as though you are living in Malaysia, what I am saying is PLEASE FOLLOW THE LAWS OF THE ROAD!  Yes, I know that's a crazy sentiment and a crazy notion or idea, but bike-riding- idiots, please follow the laws.  My nice, early 60-year old neighbor, was run over by one of you losers last year and broke her ribs, punctured a lung and put her in the hospital, all because she was trying to get breakfast across the street at the deli.  That was her fault, right?

The laws are there for a reason, and if we could just run red lights or make illegal turns to drive the wrong way down One Way streets or run people over, we freaking would, 100%, but we can't!  And it's probably a good thing that we can't because there wouldn't be enough space in the jails for all of us up here in NYC.  So let me ask you this, when did it become OK for bikers to have their own set of laws?  When did it become acceptable to ride on the STREETS of NY and tell the law to go F itself?  Now back in the 70's and 80's when I was growing up, we rode on the sidewalks and yes, rode in the streets and followed NO laws, but we didn't build bike lanes to define our boundaries. Now that YOU have done that, now that you have told society that, "yes, we are going to have our own space in the streets," there have to be rules and laws.  You have come into my neighborhood and all the other local indigenous Brooklynites - and I know some of you hate to hear that you really aren't from here, but it's the truth so get used to it - and built this lane, so you are now bound by the laws of the road.

And if you are not familiar with the laws, it is pretty much this:  drive the same way on a one way street.  RED MEANS STOP, GREEN MEANS GO.  Do not run over anyone.  Do not yell at people.  Do not ring your stupid bell incessantly.  Do not ride your two-month old in a basket hanging off your front handlebars, that's dangerous.  Make sure to make hand signals since you do not have functioning lights.  And, please, please, please, do not ever think you own the road.

  
MY ADVICE


As Rodney King said, "Can't we all just get along, mother-scratchers?"  Listen neither of us, Car Drivers and Bike Riders are going anywhere.  And we, as Car Drivers, were here first, but we are willing to share the road with you because we have no other Bleeping choice, so here's the deal - we will not run you over, we will not open our doors without looking to see if you delicate flowers are riding up without regard for anyone or anything, we will not lower our windows and give you a gentle nudge so you fly into a park car, we not cut you off because we can, we will not honk at you, we will not take a paint roller and secretly in the dark of night, roll black paint over the outside lane so you no longer have a bike lane, we will not steal your bikes, we will not pop your tires with a nail because that is soooo easy, and we will not contest you building bike lanes that are bigger than our car lanes.  But there is only one goddamn thing we ask of you - PLEASE, FOLLOW THE LAWS.  Thank you :)


Ayeesh!

Life 101: My Intro

Life 101: My Intro: Hey everyone. I have been told by numerous people over the past few months (which have actually felt like years) to start one of these b...

My Intro

Hey everyone.  I have been told by numerous people over the past few months (which have actually felt like years) to start one of these blogs.  I never really GOT them until now.  So I wanted to tell you a little about myself.  I am a 37 year-old writer/producer/pauper/struggling/pissed off adult - oh and by the way, I am sure whoever defined adult didn't mean unemployed, single with no possibilities on the horizon, no children, no hope, no future, and no more whiskey in my bottle.  Maybe I am over exaggerating, but sometimes, in this life, the way things are going, that's how I feel.

I have always had this idea - that I wanted to be a teacher and go back to college and teach a class called Life 101.  And people would ask me: "what the hell does that mean?"  Well, this site will tell you what that means.  I am going to give you the realities of life, not the bullshit they feed you in college and on the news - things that piss me off, things that should piss you off.  And I will also offer you some advice.  I am not going to sugarcoat it, and I hope you will appreciate my honesty.  I want you to write me and ask me questions, debate me, tell me why I don't know what I'm talking about.  I want to see if telling people the truth and waking them up to what's really going on out there is going to be beneficial or just an unmitigated disaster.

Enjoy :)



ROB'S RANT


In every blog, I will bring something up that just flat out annoys the hell out of me.  This will be Rob's Rant, and I want peoples' honest opinions about what they think.  I know already that I will disagree with most of you, especially if you are liberals living in my neighborhood, but that's okay because most of you weren't born and raised here.  And I love the argument.  So bring it on!  And just to let you know, even though I am a Republican, I consider myself a liberal Republican (if that makes sense) meaning that I am not totally against liberal ideals.  And I'm not a right wing nut.  As a matter of fact, liberals are mostly gentle, and the whole government should be re-done.  But I digress, and that's for another rant.


My first rant is going to be this - I don't know how many of you out there are aware of the guy from Brooklyn who got thrown off the plane for cursing, but that was me.  I have given you links to read about it if you haven't already done so. 

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/brooklyn/bomb_scare_mq9RA9umIbZ3OuHeesy8UP

http://www.metro.us/newyork/local/article/888364--brooklyn-man-kicked-off-plane-for-cursing

http://thenewamerican.com/usnews/politics/7872-man-kicked-off-plane-for-cursing

Let me tell you this, as much as me and my family and friends curse, what I said in the privacy of my own seat to another passenger did not constitute me being thrown off a plane. It did not warrant the MALE flight attendant to storm up to the front of the plane, talk to the pilot, and make the ENTIRE plane double back to the gate.  Nor did it warrant the Detroit PD to waste their time to come and escort me off the plane.  NOR did it warrant wasting all the other passengers time and energy.  NOR did it warrant wasting the gas it took to bring us all back to the gate.  

And when I was standing on the tarmac with two DT PD standing next to me, I asked them to please go in and talk to the people around me.  I said, "Please, go in and talk to the people around me.  They will tell you that I didn't do anything."  And when a Delta Rep did as I asked, she came back out and said, "Yeah, he might have overreacted."  Might have overreacted?  Are you kidding me?  I'm surrounded by two armed Detroit Police officers, standing on the tarmac of the Detroit Airport, and that's what you say...  Bullshit.  And she told me to recant my statement in front of the police for some reason.  Like that, all of a sudden, means it's all erased.  Let me tell you this much - I got so much support from people and the media, and even got a phone call from a guy on the plane who said that the flight attendant, JOSHUA, DELTA wouldn't give me his last name, was an absolute asshole to everyone on the flight, that the story ran world wide.  Now listen, I'm not saying that cursing is right or that complaining is always right, but what I am saying is that if I can get kicked off a plane for asking what the Fuck is taking so long to fix an overhead bin, then things are getting out of control.  And, did I forget to mention, that I gave my original seat up for a mother and her baby before the plane taxied out because the oxygen mask didn't work in their seat?  Yeah, I forgot to mention that.  That's a violation, no?  And...after waiting for 45 minutes, the guy who came out to fix the overhead bin, DUCK-TAPED it closed.  And the Captain came on over the intercom and made a joke about how he taped it shut.

I am so tired of the airlines and their bullshit.  They make billions, over-charge in the hundreds of millions, hire morons who are supposed to make us safe, most who don't even have college degrees, and we are supposed to put up with their crap?  Well getting kicked off that plane has taught me a lot.  It has taught me that we have lost all control of our lives, and it has taught me that no matter how old you are, you are still going to have unreasonable parents who can do whatever they want to you whenever they want.

MY ENDING


I am tired of the airlines having cart blanche to do whatever they want.  I totally understand terrorism, and the possibility of it.  My awesome cousin, Jackie, who was more like a sister to me, was killed in 9/11.  But if little old white and black ladies start carrying bombs in their oxygen tanks to blow up planes, the world is over.  I want to leave my rant with two letters I received.  One is from a Coordinator (whatever that means) at Delta, Kathy Johnston, and the other is my first piece of Hate Mail.  I love it!  But the pussy didn't have the balls to give me his address and name.  He typed it out.  That's hilarious.  Read them and let me know what you think.  There is so much wrong about what happened to me on that flight, but the one thing we all have to keep clear is that without us, there is no them.  Without people flying, there cannot be airlines.  But somewhere this has all gotten lost.  And I would love to talk to JOSHUA and ask him why he was in such a bad mood that day.  Shepard Smith said it best to me off air after he was gracious enough to give me an interview.  He said, "Oh, it was a MALE flight attendant."  I said YES.  He said, "Oh, I know what was going on there."  We laughed.  Shepard's a cool guy.  Read and respondski.




MY ADVICE


Ok, my advice for this blog is this - don't conform.  Be yourself.  I mean don't be yourself if you're a serial killer or pedophile, but for most of you who feel like everyone is criticizing and picking at everything you do, you are right, they are.  Don't let them.  When you leave the confines of your house and/or family and college or whatever grade you managed to get through, there are always going to be those assholes who want to bring you down.  And don't ask me why they do it, just know that you are not alone.  We have all gone through it.  No matter how hard it is - keep your damn head up and do what makes you feel good.  Do what makes you want to get up in the morning, drink a cup of coffee, and go onto a plane and curse.  Because that's what I did.  Remember, there is not one action that defines who you are, there is only you who makes those actions come true.


Peace in the Middle East


Robert Sayegh